In the Air: Alitalia

When people would ask, "How are you flying to Rome," and I would respond, "Alitalia," I was usually met with a roll of the eyes or a casual "eh". Apparently, it's not the most luxurious airline in the fleet but it's still in business, and the Pope trusts it, so why not give it a go? And so we did.

We boarded the flight and immediately realized we were in one of the oldest planes still in working fashion. The plane was so old, the ashtray's on the seat were still flipping up, instead of sealed shut. There are no personal TV monitors -- just a few drop-down TV screens that hang from the ceiling. All the shows are in Italian. On the bright side, the leg room and seat pitch is much roomier.

Flying generally brings out the nerves in anyone - even the good flyers. It was a smooth start. Dinner was served and I was handed my vegetarian meal and a glass of red wine. On the menu, waxy vegetables in a tomato sauce and stale rice. But I was more willing to eat that then the rubber chicken everyone else was digesting. I threw back the wine, closed my eyes and attempted to relax for the next 6.5 hours.

That plan was foiled as soon as we hit turbulence over the Atlantic. It was a little frightening, I won't lie, but I think the majority of my nerves were left over from last week's near death experience. The reality check really sets in when during your moment of panic, you look around the plane and find the 8-year-old kids happily playing cards and video games while the airplane is jumping around the sky. The airplane food was not settling well with all this. I needed a bathroom. NOW. But the captain asked us all to remain in our seats and I couldn't get up if I wanted to and now I was stuck, in my seat, trying not to make a scene that no one would forget. If you've ever experienced turbulence like that you know it's not fun. If you've ever experienced turbulence with a bad plate of food in your stomach, the scenario is, quite literally, rather shitty.

Alitalia landed us safely and we made it to the hotel (more on how/when later). I have decided not to have airplane food on the way home.