You Know You've Had Too Much to Drink When...

• You have to ask "who left the lights on?" when you wake up in the morning, and you live alone, and there is no one else in the apartment.
• You don't remember where you put your pants, but you can swear you walked home with pants on.
• You wake up laying diagonally across the bed with no pillows and only one sock on your foot, and wonder why you can't move your neck.
• You want to throw things at the guy downstairs who is shoveling the snow because every time he hurls the snow to the curb, the sound hurts your brain. (thank you, nice man, for shoveling the snow.)
  
• You wonder where the extra $20 came from, and then decide it's better that you not know.

p.s. Good news: I found my pants. They were in the bathtub... which is an entirely other problem, I presume, but I'm in no shape to work through that problem today.

Vacation Day 1

6 a.m.: Woke up and reminded myself I didn't have to go to work today. Extra points because it's raining outside, so I didn't have to get out of bed to walk in the rain.

8 a.m.: Moved from the bed to the sofa to watch the news in HD. Coffee on. Laptop booting up.

9 a.m.: Read the online news and blogs; checked email. SCORE: The Huffington Post commented on the travel report I've been working on for the past month. Had a few proud, gloating moments to myself before researching the travel news of today.

10 a.m.: The Sound of Music-themed hotel in Salzburg has been put on hold. This put a damper in my day. I am one of "The Sound of Music" fans who was actually considering a trip to Salzburg just to stay at this hotel.

11 a.m.: Off to the dentist to get a cavity re-filled. Not a new cavity, thank you very much, but a crack in the current one.

11:30 a.m.: Big needle in mouth. Hate. This. Part.

11:35 a.m.: Cannot feel my mouth. Tongue numb. Ears tingling. Numb. Nice lady in blue scrubs gives me dark-colored glasses to put over my eyes so random tooth pieces don't go flying into my eyes.

1:00 p.m.: Home from dentist. Still numb. I don't think I have a tongue. Ears still tingling. Novocaine numbed entire right side of my face. Numb, numb, numb...

----

Waiting anxiously for Novocaine to wear off. I hate this part - I hate feeling "not myself." This is likely why I never got into drugs, although I suppose the feeling I get from a good bottle of wine could be considered a good high.

Dinner tonight with a co-worker at one of my favorite restaurants in Boston.

What's the Hurry?

Today started like any other day...
Shower, dress, pack up the work bag, lock the door on the way out, hit the pavement by 7:30 a.m. And like every other day, I walked the same route to work at my typical pace - not too fast, but not slow because that's just annoying. I'm a city girl. I get where I need to be on time.

The coach tells me the best time to be thankful is first thing in the morning. Your mind is fresh, you're seeing everything for the first time that day, and because the stressors of work and world haven't gotten to you yet, you can appreciate the little things. I've taken appreciating little things on my way to work... cleaner streets, the first produce man at Haymarket on a Friday morning, the glare of the steel buildings in the financial district when the sun rises over their peak, the coffee that James has ready for me at Starbucks on Washington St. I knew I had a typical b.s. day ahead of me with a few people in the London office, but I was enjoying my 7.5 minute walk to work...

Until some CRAZY LADY PUSHED ME ON THE SIDEWALK. Apparently, the sidewalk wasn't big enough for the both of us, or the completely empty street next to the sidewalk wasn't sufficient enough for her, so instead she put her hands on my arm and pushed me aside so she can walk past me. I stopped in awe, muttered a few things to myself, and then watched as the crazy sidewalk lady made her way down the street, pushing aside the two men with produce carts making early morning deliveries. They were as displeased as I was, only they shouted louder.

Thankfully, the rest of the walk was better and as usual, James at Starbucks greeted me with a smile a venti Pike Place coffee. The world seems less crazy now.

I Should... Sing

I should scream and yell at people. 

I should beat some people over the head until they bleed. 

I should show some people the error of their ways and shake them until they see reality. 

I should not let my blood pressure get too high.

I thank G-d for red wine.

But I'm refraining from getting mad. My meditation counselor might tell me tomorrow that this is not the right method of dealing with my frustrations, but today, I refrain.

And so I sing... the lyrics of the day... which are not mean, angry or vulgar. Instead I'll try a happy tune that sort of sends the same message. Sing along, if you like:

"I'd like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees
And snow-white turtle doves

I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms
And keep it company."

I do not feel like running through poppy fields, yet. Maybe if I sing the chorus a few more times (and down some more Tinto from Portugal) I will feel better.

Emergency Summit at the Marliave

Last night, there was an emergency state of the union meeting at the bar around the corner.

The issue: Work.
The question: Does content generate revenue? Do we still have jobs?
The conclusion: Drinks lot of wine.

A bottle of wine, two additional glasses of wine, and one martini later we came to a few conclusions:

• Content is king.
• Dating is not easy; awkward dates are the worst.
• We will gather on election night at a TBD bar near my home so that I can pace around and take breather-breaks during the counting process, as necessary.
• Politics plays a role in everything - from running the country to running a meeting.

This Friday starts with a hangover and a to-do list you can't imagine, but it also signals the beginning of the weekend, and that is good.

The Best Doctors Offices...

... are the ones with free Internet access!

As I sit here waiting, an IV in my arm and completely uncaffienated, I am comforted only by the fact that I am able to access the outside world via the wireless connection in the waiting room.

On the other hand, this online addiction might be precisely the reason I'm here to begin with. Whatever... let's just get this done with so I can have some coffee.

Weekend in Florida with Gustav and Fay

I'm supposed to be in Florida this weekend, checking out my parent's new home and spending time with the family celebrating birthday's and anniversary's. It seems we may have a few extra guests, too.

Fay hasn't left Florida just yet, but her friend Gustav is charging in. According to the map, looks like Gustav should be arriving right around the same time my flight is due to arrive. This should be a fun, and thrilling, ride. "Ladies and Gentleman, this is your captain speaking. Please hold on tightly as we attempt the land the plane in 75 MPH winds."

Bravo! Encore On Demand

One of the smartest things I've done in the past year was install cable TV in my bedroom. Some would say it ruins "the mood" but I say... there's no mood to ruin so I'm watching TV.

In light of creepy bastards trying to enter my apartment, my sleep has been subject to daylight hours in 15-minute intervals. I'm awake, I'm asleep, I'm awake, I'm asleep... then it's dark... and I'm awake. It's amazing how one attempted break-in can help improve your hearing. Now, I'm attune to every sound, creak, break, or crash that happens within earshot of my apartment.

Saturday night I spent the evening on the sofa, "sleeping" with one eye open and watching the door. Last night, I decided to give the bed a shot. Leaving the lights on throughout the house, I wandered into the dark bedroom, turned on the TV and scrolled around in search of something mind-numbing to watch. I opted for a movie On Demand, and found my way to Encore's On

Demand listing.

The options were endless -- and mindless -- and included classic favorites like, "Stand By Me," "High Fidelity," and "Only You." New movies including, "The Queen," and "The Pursuit of Happyness" were highlighted, but I choose to stick with the oldies. I flipped on "High Fidelity" and curled up with my pillow for a restless night. I was comforted by John Cusak's good looks and Jack Black's comedic timing. But, a standing ovation goes to Encore On Demand for providing a selection of movies to take my mind off the chaos of the outside world.

I didn't "sleep", per se, but I rested. The door is being fixed this week and with that, I may just feel safe enough to move the kitchen table back to its proper spot.

Top 10 Things Heard This Week...

To say this past week has been a bitch would be an understatement. This is obvious mostly in the fact that this blog hasn't been updated in a week. I was simply to spent to pen the tales of the day. Instead, I thought I'd recap the week with a top 10 list of things said to me, or that I've said, which will give you an indication as to why I am spending this glorious rainy, thunderstorm-clad day inside organizing my iTunes, watching movies and fiercely cleaning my apartment. A good cleanse is good for the soul. 

Here we go (in no particular order):

1. "You're not up to speed on how to manage a news blog." Ok, granted, I have not updated this blog for a week, but I think I'm well-versed in blog management. For one, I managed a business news blog at a nationally-syndicated news site for two years. Second, I'm a writer, and any writer in this day and age can manage a blog (or should be at least familiar with how to post something into a text box and hit "publish").

2. "Am I getting fired?" Asked to General Manager after big shake-up at the office due to above-mentioned news blog.

3. "I don't think that will fit you," said the sales associate when I picked up a black tank top size L at 344 store on Newbury Street. F*** you, sales bitch. (For what it's worth, I didn't bother trying on the top. I left the store and went to Starbucks for a skinny iced latte, instead).

4. "We need to think about re-organizing the hierarchy of this group," said one office manager when discussing the details of my job.

5. "How do you know if you have a UTI?" said one friend who ended up in the hospital emergency room at 11 p.m. that night.

6. News headlines: 

"John Edwards admits to affair." Now I realize this has nothing to do with me personally, but it really ticked me off. The man was running for president, likely considered a viable candidate for VP at one point, and the affair took place during his wife's battle with cancer. I'm already in a foul mood. This didn't help.

"Bernie Mac Dies at 50." Again, doesn't impact me personally, but the man was a comic genius and his life was cut too short. Sad news for an already sad week.

"Attacks on day one at Beijing Olympics." This is just horrific, given all the turmoil that has led up to this event.

7. "If this were a musical, you'd be my back-up singers and would have the perfect song to sing right now," said to co-workers when handed a box of Kleenex after tears erupted behind closed doors in the boardroom.

8. "Your two-week trial for managing the success of the blog starts now. Please supply metrics for success." Stated in an email, which caused above-mentioned burst of tears. (Prelude: see point No. 1)

9. "I just don't find you very attractive. There just aren't any sparks..." said blind date after Chinese food dinner. (He followed this up with an email that asked if we could just "be friends," but I politely refrained from responding. I'm 33, I have plenty of friends, and they find me attractive.)

10. "I was never the girl who wanted a husband. I want Chanel and Valentino - they'll never leave me, and they always look good." Said one friend to another while sipping red wine and enjoying focaccia and roasted garlic on a Saturday afternoon.

And with this, I bid you a calm Sunday night.

Must. Sleep. Soon.

I feel like I haven't slept in weeks. Months. I'm exhausted mentally and physically, but I can't get myself to rest. Thank goodness for adrenaline.

Leaving today at 3pm for flight to Washington, DC. Hope the weather maintains - supposed to be thunderstorms this afternoon, which would not be excellent news for the first-time flyers. Fingers crossed that the weather cooperates around our flight schedules.

I Will Survive

I survived car crashes (two of which I was in the driver seat).
I survived the Washington, DC sniper.
I survived major surgeries, and those surgeries of loved ones.
I survived a 6-seater plane pendulum-swinging through the air and flopping about while flying through a black cloud on its way to Boston.
I survived the police finding the remains of a congressional intern's dead body in a park only steps from my backyard while DC politicians were taken into custody and the media swarmed around my apartment building.
I survived the anthrax scare in Washington, DC.
I survived 32 years, so far.

I do not know how I'm going to survive this week at the office.

Day Almost Over

It's 7:38 p.m. om Monday -- the day is almost over and I can start over tomorrow. That is, if I can move tomorrow. I worked out with a trainer tonight and my arms are already sore and fatigued. That's good, right?

I've committed to losing an undisclosed amount of weight by Sept. 30. I won't disclose the amount of weight, because frankly, it's none of your business. But, I am committed to losing it and my trainer, I do believe, is also committed because she's beating the shit out of me three times a week.

Good Morning, Monday

I'm operating on approximately 3 hours of sleep.
My boss from London is in town this week.
I've already downed a venti iced coffee from Starbucks.
I need more caffeine.
Working out with the personal trainer tonight at 5:30.
Good morning, Monday. I need to go back to bed.

The Things You Do For Love

There's a contest happening on a travel board and I've been reading the submissions. A post titled "Blind Date From Hell!!!" was posted in the "Vacations from Hell" category. This I had to read. As a woman who has been on many unfortunate blind dates from hell, I was already empathetic to this poster. But folks... there is a line, and while it's often a little blurry and hard to see, there comes a point where you decide to cross the line or stay safely on the other side. And this woman, I'm afraid, crossed the line.

Please read the post and then let's discuss. I'll get the discussion started with these talking points:

1. Who takes their kids on a blind date, let alone a blind date on the other side of the world?
2. The dude didn't have any pinky toes. Cut 'em off because they were "in the way." Anyone want to take this? Anyone???
3. I wonder... who paid for the ticket?

Discuss...

Facing Fears: Claustrophobia

I hate elevators, small spaces and rooms packed with people. When Italy won the World Cup two summers ago and everyone crowded the streets to celebrate, I attempted to claw my way out of the masses of people. Thankfully, my one friend pulled me back in (for fear that I was going to get trampled on) and guided me through the crowd.

Today I learned that our corporate summer outing will force me to face my fear once again. I am a team player, but before I get my game on for this team adventure I will throw back a couple cocktails (or an anti-anxiety pill). We're heading into The TOMB.

Apparently, the TOMB is a great "team building" experience that puts you "head to head with Pharaoh" and "presents a mind-bending adventure of sights, sounds and action that's sure to get under your skin!"


I called the TOMB and bluntly asked, "What is the alternative for people who are claustrophobic?" The manager told me that aside from the one room where the ceiling comes down on you, it's not really all that bad.

Lovely.

When You Forget Your Keys...

You're screwed.

Especially when all your friends with keys to your apartment have left the city for the weekend and your landlord's home phone number is in the other business card case, which is sitting on the kitchen table (next to your keys).

It's a Friday, it's been a long week, and I'm looking forward to going home, putting on sweats and becoming one with my sofa. I pack up my bag, stick my hand in the key slot -- shit. No keys. I figure I'll head home and see if the neighbors have my landlord's home phone number, then beg him to drive to the city on a Friday night (also a Red Sox game night) to bring me my keys. Or, I could attempt to break into my apartment. But then again, I really don't what to know if it's possible to break into my apartment.

On my walk home I pass by a few friends' employers and realize one of them is still working! God bless your girlfriends, who in the face of a crisis know exactly what to say,

"Why don't you go pick out a couple bottles of wine and meet me back here at 5 p.m."

I spent the night about 30 minutes outside of the city. Not quite the Friday night I had planned, but thank goodness for friends who know where to find a corkscrew and a clean glass.

I also learned a lesson: I am not a suburban girl. While I appreciate the space, the trees, the backyard BBQ and the peace and quiet, I crave the city.

Travel Depression

Since coming back from Rome I've been extremely busy, which is a good thing, because when I look at my calendar I have no upcoming travel plans. It's travel depression - I feel lost not having a place to pack for or a destination to focus on. Where am I supposed to go? What am I supposed to do? I'm contemplating a day at the airport just to feed my soul.

So it got me thinking... what can I do around town to not feel like I'm in town? My solution - explore other neighborhoods. Tonight, I'm heading across the river to a bar I haven't been to in about 10 years to hear a band I've never heard of. Why? Heh -- why not? Maybe it will cure my travel depression, at least for the time being. And who knows... maybe I'll find new sound to groove to until my travel starts up again.

Hump Day From Hell

I drank too much last night. The a/c is not working in the office. It's hot, I'm hungover, and the Benadryl I popped this morning to cure an unfortunate bout of hives isn't helping the situation.

I left the office at 5:30 to meet my friend J, eager to hear about his weekend(s) of debauchery which included rooftop hotels in NYC, one Gay Pride parade in Boston, and one rendezvous in the back of a parked ambulance. Clearly, cocktails were needed for these stories.

We found ourselves at an outside bar in Boston called "The Times." The food was blah. The atmosphere was fine, but mostly because we were sitting outside. There was an intense game of darts happening inside, which is fine except that the dart board was located next to the women's room (reserve comments, please). I was forced to do the duck-and-squeeze maneuver every time I needed to go to bathroom. This became increasingly complicated as I continued to drink the cheap red wine they were serving. I miss Rome.

I also miss being young. Ok, 32 isn't old, but it's not 23. I used to have J's stamina. His stories of
bar-bathroom escapades and secret sexual encounters in forbidden places are sinful, and yet, I wish I had the energy to do one-quarter of the living he does.

J and I stayed until 9:30-ish -- I'm guessing our departure time by the time of my last text message (according to my phone, which I checked this morning). I don't remember too much more of the night, but unfortunately, I remember this morning.

I woke up, thanks to a horrible allergic reaction I was having from something that clearly bit me in the middle of the night. That alone pisses me off, but now I have to find the Benadryl and hope this goes away. I crawled into work around 8:00 a.m. and attemped to revive myself with a large iced coffee. I'm still waiting for the caffeine to kick in. To make matters worse, I've indulged in greasy pizza for lunch and it is making me horribly sick.

This is the Hump Day from hell.

Best Wishes, Sen. Kennedy

The news of Sen. Edward Kennedy's malignant brain tumor is sad and shocking. Republicans and Democrats alike have bonded over their brother in the senate, sending well wishes to the family and friends who surround the senator at Mass General Hospital. For me personally, the news of his health is devastating.

I was raised in a household that revered the Kennedy's. In fact, my passion for politics stems back to my childhood when my mom would tell me stories of Jack and Bobby. They inspired her, and thus, the Kennedys inspired me.

When I started my journalism career on Capitol Hill, my beat was the Massachusetts Senate and Kennedy was one of my targets. I covered his moves in the Senate; bills he protested and those he approved and even got a few interviews with the Senator on the lawn outside his office while he engaged in a game of catch with his dog, Splash. But my best day was one day in April 2002, when Sen. Kennedy invited me and a few other reporters to "hang" with him in his office. There I sat, in his office, surrounded by pictures he painted and subtle memorials of his brothers, and I was taken by the inspiration that has empowered Americans for more than 60 years. He was a gracious host that day -- talked to us about our career ambitions, working in Washington, I'll never forget when he said, "When my brothers were in office..." it was a moment my heart skipped a beat.

I admit I'm a Kennedy devotee but what I remember most about my time in Washington was how cordial and kind Sen. Kennedy was to everyone he encountered. That time was a pivotal time in my career, and I have Sen. Kennedy to thank in part for that.

Best wishes for a full and speedy recovery. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Until Next Time

After an office lunch-hour filled with shoe shopping and subsequently four new pairs of shoes, my feet were armed and ready for fashion. Two pairs of flats, a pair of brown sandles and black stiletto heels with a black patent trim later, I was feeling fine about my feet. The rest of my body could use some work, but my feet looked gooooood.

My Friday night plans: pick up the Zipcar and meet my friend TJ at a local Italian restaurant near her house, about 40 minutes south of Boston.

Anyone who knows me knows I hate to drive. Anyone who has driven with me will tell you never to drive with me. And I’m even worse in the rain. I tense up. My shoulders become part of my head – an extension of my ears – and the 10-and-2 hand rule is strictly followed. The speed limit is obeyed, if it’s even matched, and at the first sign of chaos the hazard lights go on. And this night, it was raining. Nothing good ever happens when I drive in the rain.

But TJ is worth the drive… she’s always come to meet me in the city and always up for a late-night martini when she’s in town. We’ve spent years in the media business laughing, working and struggling together. Each time we meet, there’s always a “next time we get together…” sentence that usually ends with us dining at a fancy five-star restaurant and toasting our fabulous selves. We still have a list of “next time” places we have to try.

Over the past months, we made dates and canceled dates. But tonight was different. I was going to get there. It had been too long, and I’m traveling until mid-June, so there was no backing out. I hopped in the Nissan four-door coupe, turned on the windshield wipers, slowly reversed out of the parking lot and looked both ways as I eased out of the tiny city parking lot. I turned left to head for the highway, stopping quickly to make sure I didn’t miss another car coming at me. I hate driving. Ok – I’m good. I’m out of the parking lot. The local radio station is doing an 80s night – I’m singing along. I veer left to head into the tunnel that takes me to Boston’s South Shore.

The mother-f---er “service engine soon” lights starts blinking at me. Excellent. This is why I don’t own a car. I don’t have the patience for this. If something breaks, I throw it away. I can’t quite throw the car away, so I drove. The yellow “service engine soon” light blinking at me the entire way but I drove.

I finally got to TJ around 8 p.m. and called her to find out about parking.

“There is a valet,” she said.

“Great. I have approximately $10 cash on me…how much is the valet?”

“You’re not in the city, honey,” she said. “Valet is free out here in the suburbs.”

Sweet! So I drove in circles looking for the valet stand – which is usually right in front of the restaurant but apparently in the ‘burbs, they move the valet stand to behind the restaurant. Maybe that’s why it’s free. Anyway, in my quest to find the valet I actually found a parking spot. Pulled in, put it in park, and went to meet TJ.

We ran inside the restaurant, grabbed a table and took deep breaths as we inhaled the roasted garlic and fresh foccacia that was in front of us. We ordered gigantic plates of pasta and in between bites tried to fill each other in on what’s been happening. She with the kids. Me with the travel. We talked about the people we’ve seen and those we haven’t. We both realized that our year of self-pity had come to a close when we tried to zip our jeans that morning, so we’re both on a diet. After this bowl of pasta. And we agreed that next time we got together, we’d be five pounds thinner and treat ourselves to some shopping… and not just for shoes. Next time.

TJ finds out on Monday if she has cancer. Next time we get together, we’re going shopping.