You Know You've Had Too Much to Drink When...

• You have to ask "who left the lights on?" when you wake up in the morning, and you live alone, and there is no one else in the apartment.
• You don't remember where you put your pants, but you can swear you walked home with pants on.
• You wake up laying diagonally across the bed with no pillows and only one sock on your foot, and wonder why you can't move your neck.
• You want to throw things at the guy downstairs who is shoveling the snow because every time he hurls the snow to the curb, the sound hurts your brain. (thank you, nice man, for shoveling the snow.)
  
• You wonder where the extra $20 came from, and then decide it's better that you not know.

p.s. Good news: I found my pants. They were in the bathtub... which is an entirely other problem, I presume, but I'm in no shape to work through that problem today.