File Under: WTF?!?!

We decided to break free from the office at 5pm tonight and go see a movie.

The screen: "Four Christmases"
The time: 5:15 p.m.
The place: Boston Common Loews Movie Theater, cinema 6

We grabbed popcorn and a soda and found two prime seats in the theater. Feet up, seat back, dark room ... and 'action!'

Two hours later and feeling good from some serious Vince Vaughn hilarity, we left the theater with every intention to go home. We were stopped at cinema 8 by a young girl wearing a grey wool coat, matching headband and carrying a clipboard. Her friend/co-worker/Stepford wife look-a-like was next to her furiously typing on her blackberry.

"You girls want to watch a free screening tonight?"

"Uhhhh... of what?"

"It's a new prime time TV show on TNT called Leverage. We're screening it tonight at 8pm, but there's live entertainment beforehand."

"Live entertainment? Like dancers and jugglers?"

"No, just a little magic show. Oh, and Timothy Hutton is going to be here!"

(PR note: This is your hook, ladies. Start with the Oscar winner when trying to lure people into the theater, then move into the side entertainment.)

"OH, I love Timothy Hutton! 'Beautiful Girls' was a great movie!" I said. The Stepford ladies looked at me blankly - they probably don't even know who Timothy Hutton is - but in we went to the theater.

We were coerced into sitting up front - I think to make the 'entertainment' feel valuable - and had prime seats for the freak show of people that were walking through the door. It's a truly weird concept when you can look around the room and realize out of the 70 people sitting there, you're the most normal.

Nearly 25 minutes later the "entertainment" started. He's a magician with blue hair. He took a dollar from a lady and made it disappear. Then he took a ring from a lady and made it disappear. Meanwhile, one man refused to read a card (part of the trick) and another man sitting five rows back felt a good long belch would liven things up. The lady in the front row keeps asking, "what are you doing?" as she watches the magic trick take place. The magician - ignoring the background noises of odd seat-fillers - made the dollar and the ring reappear, handed out Starbucks gift cards and casually walked off the scene.

The theater-goers shuffled seats to be in prime viewing location for the TNT special. We chose to sit in the back... better to watch the craziness unfold as it happens, instead of having to turn around throughout the show.

"I just don't know what is going to happen next," said Bail. And she wasn't talking about the show.

"Leverage" - which airs this Sunday night at 10 p.m. on TNT - was a decent show. I liked it because of Timothy Hutton. I could have done without the stupid blond and the French sidekick (a la "DiVinci Code") - both who were given the obvious roles of distracting the ugly while the real thieves did the dirty work. The plot was semi-interesting: steal from the rich and make a profit off of them. I give it 2.5 stars out of five. But the night wasn't over at the end of the show...

As promised, Timothy Hutton did show up. A rather good-looking man both on-screen and in person. The moderator threw the first question to the audience and the rest of the night is a bit of a blur. I struggled to find a legitimate question for the celebrity actor because I was so flabbergasted by the ridiculousness of the crowd. Moreso, I was amazed that the Stepford girls still have a job this far into the night.

I'm not sure how the night ended, actually. I remember someone asked if there were plans to do a "Beautiful Girls, Part 2: 15 Years Later," which I fully support, although I don't know that I'm ready to admit it's been 15 years.

What started off as a simple movie to rid our heads of the workday chaos turned into a night of complete confusion that left us walking out of the theater wondering, 'what the fuck was that???'

It's a strange realization when the most normal part of your day was at work.

I'm a Pepper, You're a Pepper, Wouldn't You Love a Free Pepper?

Who knew Axl Rose and Slash would the ones to help the economy. Well, soda lovers, you can thank your guitar heroes for free Dr Pepper.

Now that Guns N' Roses released its "Chinese Democracy" album, the makers of Dr Pepper are making good on their promise to give free soda to everyone in America.

You've got 24 hours to claim your drink ticket on Dr Pepper's Web site starting Sunday. Drink up! It's free.

Welcome to the jungle, baby...

Craig Ferguson: Go Vote!

Listen to Mr. Ferguson - he knows what he's talking about. Get out and vote - Puff-Diddily does it.

American Heart Walk: GOAL ACHIEVED

Dear Friends,

Thank you for your contributions to the 2008 American Heart Walk, in support of ... me! Thanks to your donations, I've achieved my fundraising goal of $500 - all of which goes to the research and resources needed to fight heart disease and stroke.

Tomorrow is the 6-mile walk/run - coming along for the ride are my friends The Missus and Bail. I'll hand in the donation form and head out along Storrow Drive, along with thousands of others who are devoted and dedicated to fighting heart disease.

Thanks for your support!
xoxo
Frogger

The Great Heart Walk

This Saturday, Sept. 13, I'll be participating in the American Heart Association's Heart Walk - an annual fundraising event that raises money to fight heart disease and stroke. I'm going for the 6-mile run (!). The American Heart Association holds a special place in my heart, and in the hearts of members of my family. I've missed the walk the past few years because of travel, but this year I'm in town and I'm walking/running!

Want to walk with me?

Want to donate toward the cause?

Email me at wheninromeblog@gmail.com and I'll send you all the information.

Life in Beverly Hills: Living in 90210

The first (and last) time I was in Beverly Hills was 1999. My BFF and I hopped a plane to Los Angeles to survey the scene. I knew some people who lived in LA at the time so we could stay for free. That was about all they were good for.

The first few days of our visit we spent sitting around waiting for other people to get their crap together. Everyone in LA drove SUVs -- at the time, that was the "new" car and even though it didn't snow in LA and no one really needed an SUV, everyone had one. We went to someones house party where we knew absolutely no one, and walked around the beach aimlessly until my BFF had enough and said, "screw these people." We rented a car -- a white Dodge Stratus -- and set off to see LA. It was the best part of our trip. After four days of doing nothing (thanks for our pitiful hosts) we spent our last day on Sunset, Rodeo, Hollywood Blvd, and in Universal Studios. We lived up the 90210 zipcode and if there was a Brendan, Dylan or Steve around -- they would have undoubtedly shown us a good time.


Let's not forget, that this trip came on the heels of 90210 ending -- the close of an era for some. No more Andrea Zuckerman. No more Steve Sanders. No more Peach Pit. So it's not without reason that I succumbed to the TV last night and watched the premier of the NEW 90210. Friends, times have changed since the days of Brenda and Kelly. Let's review:

1. 1. Skinny little bitches. I do not recall Brenda and Kelly looking this thin. In fact, Ms. Taylor and Ms. Walsh looked downright healthy compared to the 'next generation' that is parading the halls of West Beverly High today.


3. 2. Nat is back! I think this is actually the only angle of the show I enjoyed. Because without Nat at the Peach Pit, there is no 90210. But he's using a fancy espresso machine, which is so unlike Nat. Still, he's the only reason I might tune in again.

3. Who is the father of Kelly's son? Dylan? Brendan? Bring back Steve! In the old 90210, there would have been a pregnancy scare and Kelly would have confronted one of the men and then turned to Donna for support while she peed on a stick.

4. I'm still uncertain as to what Brenda's role is in the new 90210, but I know this... if she's the true Brenda, she'll scam on the hot teacher who is hot for Kelly.

5. Blow jobs within the first two minutes of the show. Blow jobs in an SUV outside the front doors of the school. Classy, kids. My parents would have got up from the sofa, walked to the TV, turned it off and politely told me and my sister to go do our homework and never mention the show again in the house.

What did we learn from last night? Times have changed -- dramatically. I'm not sure I'm ready to embrace the new 90210. The new 90210 makes the old 90210 look like Pleasantville. I don't know if Nat would approve of the blow job-school scene, had he known about it. I think Nat would have served up a milkshake and a plate of fries, and talked to "the kids" about how he used to court the ladies in the old days. And they would have laughed. And all would be good in the land of 90210.

Gustav, Gustav, Go Away!

MSNBC.com says, "We know it's going to head into the Gulf. After that, we're not sure where it's heading," said Rebecca Waddington, a meteorologist at the Miami-based National Hurricane Center. "For that reason, everyone in Gulf needs to be monitoring the storm. At that point, we're expecting it to be a Category 3 hurricane."

We're still three days away, and according the map (see below) Gustav isn't scheduled to touch the US until Saturday. The fear then becomes getting home... if Gustav is tearing through the Gulf Coast from Saturday on, flying home might be a problem. I realize this blog is focused on travel adventures, but even I have my limits.

It's too early to call it, but it doesn't look good. Stay tuned...

Meanwhile, over at "On Common Ground," MFTM gives you job seekers some sound advice when it comes to applying for jobs. We realize it's a tough job market and we're sympathetic to that but, if you're going to apply for jobs, please pay attention.

He's NOT the Exterminator

People, please, use your brain.

It's the oldest trick in the book -- man comes to door, man says he's the exterminator, man steals your valuables. 

I came home from my birthday dinner in the Boob Room at 33 Restaurant last night and thankfully, I was too tired and a little tipsy to notice that someone had dented in my dead bolt and the door frame had been chiseled and dented. 

When I woke this morning, I put on my flip-flops and walked out the door in search of coffee. It was then that I noticed the banged-up door. I immediately went to the landlord's restaurant and he came over to survey the damage. We asked the blonde dipshit on the first floor if she noticed anyone in the building yesterday, and the dipshit admitted she let in a man claiming to be an exterminator.

"Was he wearing a name tag?" The landlord asked.

"No."

"Did you get the name of the company he worked for?"

"No."

"Did he have any equipment with him?"

"He had a few mouse traps."

She can't be serious. But she was. And she let him in the building, right up the stairs to my apartment. Thankfully, my door served it's purpose - to protect my apartment from predators (insects or people). It's a little dented and beaten up, but it's standing. Still, I can't help feeling a little violated...

I'm going to clean.

Day of Fun: Boston Duck Tours and Superheros from 1982

Today is the day we come into work, and leave shortly thereafter for the "Company Outing Day of Fun." The itinerary includes:

• A private Boston Duck Tour. By private, I mean the entire "duck" is filled with only people from our company.
• A "bonding" event at The TOMB (I'm still not excited about this, but I've made the effort to be pro-active and excited about being confined to a small room as the ceiling comes down on me while I try to solve a puzzle and break free from the room.)
• Drinks, food and drinks at "Game On!" in Fenway Park. And, it's a Red Sox home game day so the area will be packed with people.

My boss showed up this morning wearing his Superheros of the 1980s t-shirt, red Pumas and a black baseball cap turned backwards. It's going to be an interesting day...

How Far Would You Travel For Love?

The winners of the travel story contest were announced today. I loved the story about the woman who traveled to New Zealand to meet a man who turned out a bit odd... Granted, I wouldn't have traveled halfway around the world for a date without at least knowing the man had all his toes.

Teaser: "At dinner one night I just happened to notice his bare feet and that they looked odd. He spoke up and told me his little toes were missing. I asked what happened thinking it was an accident. No, he replied, no accident, he had them removed because they were in his way!!" Read the entire vacation from hell story.

I also give kudos to the judges who chose the Africa vacation as a winner. The girl and her boyfriend spent time at a local orphanage helping kids whose parents died of HIV/AIDS. Inspiring!

Where to next?

Crosby, Stills and Nash Still Rocking

The perfect way to end a long week: a beer, a comfortable seat with a cup holder, David Crosby and his guitar (and Steven Stills and Graham Nash, of course).

The evening started with three women sitting outside sipping martini's and picking at sushi. Two hours later and not without our buzz on, we made our way to the Bank of America Pavilion. The atmosphere was perfect -- a mix of baby-boomers reliving their 60s and parents who are introducing their kids to one of the best bands of all-time. And the kids weren't only ones who had their first taste of CSN.

As we sat down in our comfy seats, placed our beers cozily in the cup holders, and eagerly awaited the first song of the night, our friend The Missus made the bold announcement, "I've never heard of CSN before, and I don't know any of their songs."

I WAS STUNNED!! Our friend Bail continued to laugh out loud while I explained to MFTM that CSN wasn't just "a band" but they were influential, inspirational and actually stood for something during a time when all things seemed lost. Just then, the three men appeared and started the concert with "Marakesh Express." MFTM turned to me and said, "Why are they singing about American Express? That's rather self-promotional for the sponsor, isn't it?" I do adore her.

The people sitting in front of us shared their CSN stories while their 20-year-old daughter listened intently to the soothing sounds of guitar melodies and David Crosby's crooning.

"I saw them in 1969 and the same month, I left for Vietnam," said the reminiscent man sitting in front of us. "They had a vision -they were the best band there was." We told him our friend was a CSN virgin and he sad, "Do yourself a favor. Go buy 'Deja Vu' -- it will change your life."

(And with that, I give you the plug of the day: CSN's Deja Vu.)

Finally, a song our dear friend knew -- "Love the One Your With." A concept that binds all generations.

How Handbags Keep You Healthy

The handbag you carry says a lot about your personality, your lifestyle and also, you're health.

What women stuff into their satchels (or clutches, totes or shoulder bags) is a clear indicator on how she approaches her health, according to an article by Forbes.com.

Do you stuff your designer bag with useless crap or do you selectively choose pockets for your most personal belongings? You could be wistfully wasting your life away in designer heaven, or you might be one of the healthiest women walking the city.



So what's in your handbag? I'm considered "moderately heathly" by Forbes.com standards.
While the laptop and extra battery pack I carry around is a sure sign of a work-a-holic, the power bars, lip balm sunscreen, passport and whatever book I'm reading at the time (today, it's
Clapton: The Autobiography) means I'm also in tune with my own needs and ready to escape at a moment's notice (that would obviously be thanks to the passport).

When in Rome: The Movie

The powers that be at Walt Disney have added a little romantic comedy to my life, and they cast Kristin Bell as the lead.

When in Rome, a Walt Disney Pictures release, is due out this fall. The plot:

"A successful New York realtor can't find love, but when her younger sister marries in Rome, she flies out for the wedding and after picking up coins from a reputed "fountain of love," she finds an overabundance of suitors waiting for her back home."

Hm...

New York -- Boston. It's comparable. I would never go into real estate, but I guess the writer thing has been done already ala Carrie Bradshaw. I do have a younger sister, but since she refuses to leave the country and just experienced the travel day from hell, I doubt she would marry in Rome (it works for the whole plot of the movie...I get it).

I just returned from Rome and threw at least 3 pounds worth of coins into the 'fountain of love' and picked up a few coins while I was there, but there was no overabundance of men waiting for me back home. Just my landlord, who wanted the rent, and the neighborhood homeless guy who found the top step leading into my apartment building as a comfortable spot to sleep for the night.

So Walt Disney Pictures and Mark Steven Johnson, go for it! Turn my luck around with the release of a movie similar in too many ways to my life... and if you'd like, I'm happy to throw a few stories your way. When in Rome, you just never know what will happen...

Things to Do on July 4 When it Rains

It's hard to watch fireworks in the pouring rain. Not only does it decrease the shock-and-awe value of the firework's colors and grandeur, but you end up squinting half the time to avoid raindrops in your eyes and if you're not standing in a good spot, you could find yourself sinking further into the ground as the grass turns to mud. Not a fun night.

So what do you do when it's going to rain on July 4? Here are some fun around-the-town ideas to keep you in a celebratory mood, without getting wet (unless, of course, you choose to get wet):

1. Drink red, white, and blue drinks. This can be anything from smoothies to pina coladas and strawberry daiquiris. Dress up a daiquiri with fruit to make it more festive, and if you're feeling cheesy, replace the drink umbrella with an American flag.


2. Go shopping. Why not? Retailers always have sales on July 4 and you can make it festive by only buying red, white and/or blue clothing. (If you're in need of jeans, this is an awesome way to justify the purchase).


3. Call your friends and find a cafe/bar with covered outdoor seating. Grab a table early in the night and just hang out. Watch the swarms of wet people walk by -- the ones who thought it might not rain, even though the forecast all week has called for storms -- and enjoy being dry and comfortable.


4. For the roofdeck/patio crowd, turn on the radio and put the July 4th celebrations in your backyard (or on your roof). You avoid the crowds and still get to hear the festivities.


5. Get a good movie and stay dry in the comfort of your own home. Some good July 4th movies include: Independence Day, Born on the 4th of July, Sweet Liberty, An American Tale (for those with kids).

I'll likely be partaking in #5 (after I attend a friend's BBQ) and it's entirely possible I'll watch An American Tale and even more likely that I'll enjoy it for the umpteenth time.

Enjoy the holiday! Be safe and don't forget to celebrate your Independence Day!

TSA Body Scanners: The New Wave of Privacy Invasion

No one's private parts are safe from airport security, now! Our friends at the TSA chose Boston's airport to install body scanners as a security measure.

The X-Ray machines will see right through clothing and can detect if a traveler is hiding a concealed weapon under their clothes or in their private areas. The Boston Globe writes, "The scanners produce three-dimensional images of people's naked bodies, but the agency says procedures have been modified to protect passenger privacy." The machine blurs the face of the passenger.

The article also goes on to explain that the X-Ray machine can gather detailed images like muscle definition on a person's body. So if you can see my muscles, you must also be able to see my lady bits, and I don't know if I'm OK with that, TSA.

Do you feel like this is an invasion of your privacy? Good news! You can refuse to walk through the X-Rays. Instead, you'll be treated to a pat down and screening with a handheld metal detector. Choose your evil, travelers! You can have your insides shown on a screen for all to see or you can get a full body pat down and a metal detector up your yahoo.

Let me clear the air, though. I'm not opposed to better security practices. I think they are necessary, but unfortunate. You want to scan my shoes? Fine. You want me to remove liquids from my bags? Fine. You want to scan my jewelry? Fine. You want to capture a digital image of my insides? I'm not so fine. Furthermore, what is the TSA saying about radiation issues? Pregnant women shouldn't be exposed to radiation, so in order for them to fly they are now subject to pat downs and wands?

I'm going to say it, and I expect I'll be bashed up one side and down the other for saying it, but I'm going to say it: What are the chances a TSA officer gets a good laugh during the day at these photos? How many of these digital images end up in files for future viewing?

The TSA will say their employees are trained professionals who adhere to the strictest rules and regulations. Well, TSA, if that's so then why are we in this position to begin with? The following is what I don't want to hear:

• TSA officials don't make any money.
• TSA officials are overworked.
• TSA officials have to lot to deal with during the security process.

We can all file these same complaints about our jobs. My sister just graduated from her medical assistance program. She doesn't make any money, yet she works all day with cancer patients. We're all overworked and overtired -- it's the American way -- but I'm not going into people's desks, bags and medicine cabinets.

So, yes, I do have a problem with these scanners. As a "professional traveler," so to say, I'm used to just about every glitch in the system. I can easily go with flow and honestly, I don't mind rules - they are necessary to keep order and I'm all for them.

At this point, however, we might at well just strip naked and walk our bodies through security, no?

Boston Taxi Fare Increase -- How Much Would You Pay?

Where can you find the most expensive taxi ride in the U.S.? If today's proposal to increase Boston taxi fees by 50 percent is any indication, Boston travelers and cab-goers will soon be riding in one of the most expensive taxi cabs in the nation.

If the proposal goes through, the fare hike would increase the per-mile rate by 50 percent and up the starting fare from $2.25 to $2.75, reported the Boston Globe. That means the cost of a 4-mile ride would average almost $17. And if you're heading to/from the airport you can add on another $6-$7.25 to your total cab ride.

In the words of one dear friend and devoted reader, "[This ride] would be in the gnarliest cab ever - where more often than not, you can smell the puke stench from last night's late night ride home. Why would I pay $17 to ride 4 miles in complete filth!?!"

So, how much is too much to pay for a cab in a city?

On the one hand, the cab drivers do have a valid point. Gas is expensive and cab drivers must pay to lease a medallion, certifying them a legal driver. On the other hand, more often than not the cab you step into is filthy, smelly and falling apart.

On what side do you lean? Is there a fair compromise?

Increased Airline Fees for Luggage, Pets and...Antlers?

It seems the airline industry is digging down deep to come up with additional ways to charge passengers. New on the airline fee scene: antlers.

Yes, antlers.

Frontier Airlines announced Friday it will increase the charge for taking antlers on its planes to $100 from $75. Sure, Frontier is also adding additional fees for extra luggage, pets, and more. But if you travel during hunting season and you score your game, and you want the trophy prize to hang on your wall, you'll have to pay for those antlers. And rightly so.

There are way too many things wrong with this story, so I'll leave the commenting to you. Only in America, folks. (I can't even post an image with this story.)

Step Back to Beacon Hill

My cousin and his girlfriend came for a visit from New York this weekend. I'm the oldest by 10 years, in this case. My younger cousin moved to NYC three years ago to embark on his financial career. His girlfriend followed suit a few years later.

This was the first weekend in months I've been at home so the visit worked out well. The weather was beautiful, the company was pleasant and for the first time in years I got to play tour guide to my own city. I forgot how much there is to see in Boston.

We started our journey through Boston Commons and the Boston Public Garden. We boarded the Swan Boats and enjoyed the serene ride around the lake. I never really looked at the weeping willow trees before this day. Afterwards, we walked through Beacon Hill and admired the historical homes, the gas lights and the windowsill flower beds that lined the apartments on Mount Vernon Street. Walking through Beacon Hill is like stepping back in time - a gaze down Chestnut Street, Acorn Street, Willow Street or Louisburg Square evokes images of horse-drawn carriages, parasols and three-piece suits accessorized with time pieces and gold cuff links. Further up Mount Vernon Street, we turned right on Joy Street and headed back toward the public garden, where the twenty-first century was in full swing.

Best Wishes, Sen. Kennedy

The news of Sen. Edward Kennedy's malignant brain tumor is sad and shocking. Republicans and Democrats alike have bonded over their brother in the senate, sending well wishes to the family and friends who surround the senator at Mass General Hospital. For me personally, the news of his health is devastating.

I was raised in a household that revered the Kennedy's. In fact, my passion for politics stems back to my childhood when my mom would tell me stories of Jack and Bobby. They inspired her, and thus, the Kennedys inspired me.

When I started my journalism career on Capitol Hill, my beat was the Massachusetts Senate and Kennedy was one of my targets. I covered his moves in the Senate; bills he protested and those he approved and even got a few interviews with the Senator on the lawn outside his office while he engaged in a game of catch with his dog, Splash. But my best day was one day in April 2002, when Sen. Kennedy invited me and a few other reporters to "hang" with him in his office. There I sat, in his office, surrounded by pictures he painted and subtle memorials of his brothers, and I was taken by the inspiration that has empowered Americans for more than 60 years. He was a gracious host that day -- talked to us about our career ambitions, working in Washington, I'll never forget when he said, "When my brothers were in office..." it was a moment my heart skipped a beat.

I admit I'm a Kennedy devotee but what I remember most about my time in Washington was how cordial and kind Sen. Kennedy was to everyone he encountered. That time was a pivotal time in my career, and I have Sen. Kennedy to thank in part for that.

Best wishes for a full and speedy recovery. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Boycotting Gym Inflation

Everything is more expensive these days. Gas, homes, airline tickets, dairy - name it, and you're probably paying more for it. So it stands to reason that everyday amenities are going to rise, as well. It's simple economics. And while it's unfortunate that it costs more to live these days, that's just the fundamentals of living.

I must take a few moments today and veer from the fundamental of this blog so that I can vent one very valid frustration: The rising (and often ridiculous) costs associated with fitness centers and gyms. Only in America do you have to pay more to maintain your self-esteem via a healthy weight.

One of the side effects of traveling is weight gain. Sad to say, but over the years I've embraced good food and I often find it when I travel. To offset the carbs and calories, I do try and workout when I'm on the road. When I come home, most evenings are spent at the gym. After all, I am paying a monthly membership - I might as well make use of it. I've written columns about proper workout clothes, meeting singles at the gym, and even doing business at the gym. I am a fan of the gym.

But when the gym deliberately price gouges, I have to take a stand.

Case in point: Boston Sports Clubs

Case Study: The hidden fees of gyms.

Background: Boston Sports Club offers various memberships. We'll use mine as an example for this story. I pay $74 a month to belong to Boston Sports Clubs. My membership is considered the "Gold Membership" which means I choose a "home gym" that I can attend any day or time. I can only access other gyms during off-peak hours. I can see BSC's rational behind the varying degrees of memberships. You do have to limit the amount of people in order to avoid over-crowding.

My membership started at $70 a month and I was forced to sign a two-year contract and pay an initiation fee. Caveat: I could have signed a one-year contract, but the monthly membership dues were higher and I didn't get two free personal training sessions. So I signed on for two years. The price has risen $4 in two years. I can live with that, although I'll be honest, it's a little ridiculous. The price increase is due to "necessary gym maintenance". So why is there always a broken machine, not enough towels, and mold in the showers? Sadly, this isn't even the basis of my argument...

Situation: I think my Boston Sports Club "home gym" is a bit of a wreck. Some friends of mine, who are also Boston Sports Club members, belong to another BSC location near my neighborhood and suggested I switch my "home gym". I call to find out the procedure for making the switch.

The Boston Sports Club membership person (whose identity I'll protect) tells me that we can easily do the switch. It's a one-time processing fee of $39.99 and my monthly dues will go from $74 to $69.

"Oh," I say. "What's the $39 for, again?"

A processing fee, she tells me.

"If I want to come in after work and make the switch, is that possible?"

Oh yes, she says. "It will only take a second to switch you over."

Ok... STOP. Let's break that down:

It's a $39.99 "processing fee" for making a switch that will "only take a second."

Problem: I've always hated the idea of "initiation fees." It's a quick way to make money and it's completely useless, but all gyms do it and the most I can do is threaten not to sign up. In the end, we all pay. But when hidden fees are added to the process for the sake of simply screwing your customers, there is a problem.

As far as I can tell, there is no reason for a $39.99 processing fee for a process that takes "a second." You're asking me to pay you $39.99 for one second of your time. Some perspective:

A working member of society who makes $40/hour brings home approximately $83,200/year.
Boston Sports Club wants me to pay them $39.99/second. How many customers need to pay this fee for Boston Sports Club to be rich? This isn't hard math, folks.

Solution: A boycott. Why do gyms get away with these fees? Show me the poor sap who is slaving behind a machine that takes hours out of his day to click a drop-down menu from one person's profile in a computer and switch their "home gym", and I will pay you $39.99. Until then, no way.

I signed a two-year contract and the only way I can get out of my contract is to pay Boston Sports Club more money, which at this point I refuse to do. So I will honor my contract. It expires at the end of the August and you can be sure I won't renew. Gym inflation won't get the best of me. If you want me to pay extra fees, show me a clean gym with properly functioning machines and I will show you my credit card.

From now until August, I will make the most of my $74 a month. Maybe I'll actually lose the 10 lbs. I've been fighting off...