Life in Beverly Hills: Living in 90210

The first (and last) time I was in Beverly Hills was 1999. My BFF and I hopped a plane to Los Angeles to survey the scene. I knew some people who lived in LA at the time so we could stay for free. That was about all they were good for.

The first few days of our visit we spent sitting around waiting for other people to get their crap together. Everyone in LA drove SUVs -- at the time, that was the "new" car and even though it didn't snow in LA and no one really needed an SUV, everyone had one. We went to someones house party where we knew absolutely no one, and walked around the beach aimlessly until my BFF had enough and said, "screw these people." We rented a car -- a white Dodge Stratus -- and set off to see LA. It was the best part of our trip. After four days of doing nothing (thanks for our pitiful hosts) we spent our last day on Sunset, Rodeo, Hollywood Blvd, and in Universal Studios. We lived up the 90210 zipcode and if there was a Brendan, Dylan or Steve around -- they would have undoubtedly shown us a good time.


Let's not forget, that this trip came on the heels of 90210 ending -- the close of an era for some. No more Andrea Zuckerman. No more Steve Sanders. No more Peach Pit. So it's not without reason that I succumbed to the TV last night and watched the premier of the NEW 90210. Friends, times have changed since the days of Brenda and Kelly. Let's review:

1. 1. Skinny little bitches. I do not recall Brenda and Kelly looking this thin. In fact, Ms. Taylor and Ms. Walsh looked downright healthy compared to the 'next generation' that is parading the halls of West Beverly High today.


3. 2. Nat is back! I think this is actually the only angle of the show I enjoyed. Because without Nat at the Peach Pit, there is no 90210. But he's using a fancy espresso machine, which is so unlike Nat. Still, he's the only reason I might tune in again.

3. Who is the father of Kelly's son? Dylan? Brendan? Bring back Steve! In the old 90210, there would have been a pregnancy scare and Kelly would have confronted one of the men and then turned to Donna for support while she peed on a stick.

4. I'm still uncertain as to what Brenda's role is in the new 90210, but I know this... if she's the true Brenda, she'll scam on the hot teacher who is hot for Kelly.

5. Blow jobs within the first two minutes of the show. Blow jobs in an SUV outside the front doors of the school. Classy, kids. My parents would have got up from the sofa, walked to the TV, turned it off and politely told me and my sister to go do our homework and never mention the show again in the house.

What did we learn from last night? Times have changed -- dramatically. I'm not sure I'm ready to embrace the new 90210. The new 90210 makes the old 90210 look like Pleasantville. I don't know if Nat would approve of the blow job-school scene, had he known about it. I think Nat would have served up a milkshake and a plate of fries, and talked to "the kids" about how he used to court the ladies in the old days. And they would have laughed. And all would be good in the land of 90210.