Meditation Coach: Day 1

I came, I saw, I breathed, I drank.

I had my first meditation session with "the coach". Upon walking into her office, we had the usual greeting.

"How is your day?"
"Fine," I said. "And yours?"
"Oh nice - it's so beautiful outside!"
"Yes, it is. I love Fall."
"So, how have you been since we met last week?"

- PAUSE -

"Um, well, to be honest... I've found I'm very angry and the situation, and the more I think about it, the angrier I get, and the angrier I get, the less I breathe."

- PAUSE - TEARS - GASP FOR BREATH

"Ok, so it seems we found the source of the problem, but that's probably not news to you. It was simply a matter of you just realizing it and now that you have, let's work through it. Close your eyes."

And so I sat there, eyes closed, and waited. She started counting, "One...two...three. One...two...three...One...two...three..." Slowly, I found myself breathing in time with her counting. Inhale for three, exhale for three, breathe in... breathe out...

"Good," she said. "This is positive breathing. This is what you need to remember when you start to feel anxious. Count in threes and breathe."

Suddenly, I started feeling better. Clearer. Like the blockage on my lungs that prevented me from inhaling a good grasp of air had been lifted.

"I want to try something today. It's a word association game - keep your eyes closed."

I just wanted to lay down and sleep, now that I had my breathing back.

"I'm going to say a word and I want you to just say the first word that comes to mind. This will just help us identify what words we associate with anxiety, stress, and panic, and what words we find calming and peaceful."

Ok, I thought, I'm ready. I am, after all, a writer. Words are my meaning, my life. Bring on the words, Meditation Lady.

"Escape," was the first word. I replied, "Farm."
"Fun" --> "Travel"
"Run" --> "Gym"
"Evil" --> "Hijackers"
"Heart" --> "Sister"
"Dream" --> "Paris"
"Boss" --> "Buzz"
"Decadence" -->"Chocolate fountain"
"Food" --> "Kate" (I was leaving meditation and going for dinner with Kate, so that was top of mind)
"Peace" --> "Shalom"
"Calm" --> "Vodka martini"